


spilled nailpolish

by grossnoona



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Crushes, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Pining, Sleepovers, kinda lets just say they get sad bc of obvious reasons, the last three are mention only, they are there but nothing actually happens, ye big doubt on whether or not I should tag those pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona
Summary: Ritsu tries to escape his feelings by sleeping over at Arashi’s house with Mika. Together, they cry and laugh about their messy feelings. Hoping that all this stupid fun will make those harboring feelings disappear.They won’t.They know that.Cut them some slack. They’re not very smart, to begin with.
Relationships: Isara Mao/Sakuma Ritsu, Kagehira Mika & Narukami Arashi & Sakuma Ritsu, Kagehira Mika/Oogami Kouga, Narukami Arashi/Yuuki Makoto
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43





	1. spilled nailpolish

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo grossnoona here  
> ok before i start going off topic, ik there's like a tag where i say "ye big doubt on whether or not i should tag those pairings" and it's bc they do talk about their crushes but there is no form of progress _at all_  
>  like ritsuaramika are a bunch of dumb dumbs screaming into the next dimension bc holy shit how do i tell my crush i like them  
> yk stupid cute indulgent stuff  
> anyway i hope you enjoy it!!

“ _ I love you _ .”

“ _ I―I love you too. _ ”

Ritsu stared at the romance movie as it unfolds after that confession. God, he wished confessing was  _ that _ easy. Ritsu wished saying  _ I love you _ was so easy as it is shown in dramas. If he could roll those words out as easily as the actress does when she confesses, maybe this gnawing feeling wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t be eaten whole by his own feelings and worries.

Ritsu sighs pathetically as he watches the credits roll. He really wished love was as simple as movies and dramas put it out to be.

“Ritsu-chan, you’ve been sighing since we started this movie!” Arashi complained as Mika laid on Ritsu’s lap. Ritsu is aware that his feelings were stopping him from enjoying the movie. It’s a shame, to be honest. He actually liked this movie.

It’s just―It’s hard to watch something that would vaguely remind him of these messy feelings inside him. He just wished they would disappear but does he really want them to disappear? Ritsu thinks it would be a lie if he were to say yes. The idea of not liking Mao anymore seems so terrifying, Ritsu would rather die than stop liking Mao.

“ _ Dramatic. _ ” Mika laughs as Ritsu rolls his eyes at him. Ritsu knows he isn’t the only one who’s in love. Had he really been the only one in love, he would just shrug off Mika’s comment.

Ritsu jokingly pushes Mika off his lap as he makes jokes about Mika’s own crush. Mika is no different, no? Always bolting the opposite direction as soon as Koga’s voice is heard from one end. Ritsu doesn’t understand Mika’s crush at all. Of all people to choose from, Mika chose the human embodiment of ego and furries? Ritsu doesn’t understand Mika at all.

Arashi laughs as Mika whines about how rude Ritsu is. No one gets the chance to have a childhood friend to fall in love with! Ritsu is just the very few who are lucky, okay?!

“Am I really the only one?” Ritsu teases as he throws a glance at Arashi who immediately stands up. Something about how she  _ forgot _ about the facemasks in the fridge. Don’t try to run away now, Nacchan.

Mika catches the joke immediately and notes how it would be a shame to not have a crush on someone as pretty as Sena Izumi. Arashi scoffs and calls the crush, old news. She got over it long ago so such teasing won’t embarrass her anymore. A smug look is plastered on Arashi’s fice. Nice try, Mika-chan.

Ritsu stretches as he sprawls on Arashi’s fluffy carpet. Of course, she’s gotten over Izumi―Ritsu praises Arashi for even trying to shoot her chance, even though deep down, Izumi only sees Arashi as his favourite younger sister. Though, there is someone else who Arashi likes, right? Someone who Arashi won’t even talk to.

“I have no idea who you’re talking about, Ritsu-chan―Don’t start making baseless rumours like your brother,” Arashi spits at Ritsu who pretends to shiver at how cold-hearted Arashi can be at times. Truly the queen of dragging people through dirt, Ritsu can say that with confidence.

Mika tilts his head in confusion as Ritsu whistles at Arashi’s fuming face.

“So, it’s 100% okay to talk about Yuuki Makoto―”

Mika gasps as Arashi seethes.

_ Bingo! _

“Don’t you dare mention his name in this house!” Arashi’s voice cracks out of embarrassment. She’s red till the tip of her ears―Really, who thought Arashi’s type were nerds. Well, she liked Izumi so no difference, right? Actually, there are a couple of differences but overall, same thing. Ritsu isn’t one to bother too much about details.

Mika laughs as Arashi throws a pillow at Ritsu for bringing up Makoto. It’s only natural that everyone in this room knows about Arashi’s avoidance towards Makoto. At first, Ritsu just assumed Arashi didn’t like Makoto but it seemed like a whole misunderstanding on Ritsu’s end. The poor girl was avoiding the other due to her conflicting feelings about him. Really, Arashi can be such a damsel in distress sometimes.

Arashi scoffs at Ritsu for trying to distract them both from Ritsu’s own mopping about Mao. Out of the three of them, Ritsu has the biggest chance of going on a date with Mao. Ritsu rolls his eyes and complains how he doubts it.

“Mao seems like the type to only date a junior,” Ritsu says as he tries to throw the pillow back at Arashi who doesn’t take that as an answer. If anything, she calls the answer cheap and wrong. Ritsu is doubting himself again, Arashi boos.

Mika doesn’t actually know Mao’s type at all. Whenever he tries to drag it out of Mao, he’s called out by someone from across the room or has to rush off to another meeting. That guy doesn’t get time to rest at all. Mao only liking juniors probably isn’t true.

“At least, it isn’t as obvious as Koga’s.”   
  
Arashi groans as Ritsu makes a disgusted face.

“Two words;  _ Whiny and whore _ .” Ritsu puts up two fingers as Arashi jokes how Mika might have a chance with Koga if he showed a little bit more skin for once. Ritsu sticks his tongue out in disgust as he complains about how he doesn’t want Mika to get humped on by Koga. Ritsu gags at the thought of it.

Mika calls Ritsu out for thinking Koga is like a dog. Maybe he won’t look at Mika in the face. Mika doubts Koga would try to do anything indecent to him. Koga isn’t the type to do anything that might scare Mika away. It’s actually kind of cute that Koga doesn’t want to scare Mika away―Doesn’t that mean Mika has a chance?

Ritsu shrugs. Definitely a higher chance than Ritsu and Arashi. Arashi suggests Mika to go for it while he can. You never know when Koga decides to fall in love with someone else.

“Don’t say scary things like that, Naru-chan!” Mika whines as he shakes his head. He really doesn’t want to lose his chance. He would like to act on it as soon as possible! It would be great if he could confess as early as tomorrow but things aren’t as easy as it looks! Mika’s voice still gets stuck in his throat every single time he comes face to face with the grey-haired boy. He would stutter and fumble with his words as if he didn’t rehearse some of the conversations in front of the mirror that morning.

Ritsu laughs as Mika complains how talking to crushes is hard. They will always make you melt into a puddle before you can even say anything. Just one glance and you’re already hiding in embarrassment. Mika covers his face as he complains how talking is already hard for him. Confessing is a whole new difficulty to overcome.

“That’s why Nacchan tries to avoid hers,” Ritsu jokes.

Arashi tackles Ritsu for trying to talk shit when Arashi is  _ right here _ . Arashi lives here! Not Ritsu! Arashi can kick Ritsu out just whenever she wants!

“But you won’t because you love me!” Ritsu sings as Arashi scoffs. Mika giggles at Arashi’s frustration with Ritsu’s teasing. It can’t be helped―Arashi loves Ritsu too much to ever do such cruel things to him. Arashi pinches Ritsu’s nose as Ritsu begs for forgiveness for teasing too much. 

There’s a small moment of silence once all that bubbling laughter wears off.

They can tease each other about their crushes all they want, it doesn’t really change the fact that they’re all depressed over the fact that they can’t make a move at all. They’re stuck watching them from a distance. Never really being confrontational about it. What a bunch of jokes, Ritsu thought bitterly as he glanced at his phone.

He hasn’t checked his phone at all. He really doesn’t want to.

All that would be there would be Mao’s empty apologies that leave a bitter taste in Ritsu’s mouth. Just how many times is he going to cancel Ritsu’s invites till Ritsu gives up? Ritsu doesn’t really know.

“You know, I do want to talk to Yuuki-kun again,” Arashi admits as she took out her nail polish from her case. She mentions how she missed talking to Makoto without feeling awkward by the distance that Makoto has decided to put between them. She really wished Makoto spoke to her with more honesty, instead of just masking that discomfort and trying to politely strike down every personal conversation they have together.

Ritsu doesn’t understand boys at all, despite being one. Mika hums in agreement as he picks up a bright cyan nail polish. All boys do is mess with your feelings and nothing more. Ritsu laughs as Arashi goes on about how she just wished Makoto was the type to at least communicate when something is wrong  _ but he isn’t _ . It’s hopeless.

“Ritsu-chan, are you aware what color you’re holding?” Arashi asks as Ritsu looks at the nail polish he’s holding.

_ Ah. It’s maroon. _

Mika laughs as Arashi sighs at Ritsu’s inability to get Mao off his mind, even when picking out colors. Really, Ritsu is whipped for this guy. It’s crazy. Ritsu hesitantly tries to place back that nail polish but finds himself unable to choose another color. Nothing looks that interesting, honestly.

“It’s fine―I think red suits you, Ritsu-chan.” Arashi says it with a teasing wink.

Ritsu groans in embarrassment. He wished he could whisk Mao’s dumb smiling face away. He just wished the image of Mao calling out Ritsu’s name wasn’t so distracting. He just wished all of those foolish fantasies that never leave the comforts of his dreams, stopped bothering him. He’s aware that Mao would never kiss Ritsu sweetly like Ritsu wants him to. Mao would never whisper  _ I love you _ into his ear as he holds Ritsu’s waist tightly. None of those embarrassingly sweet scenes will ever happen. Ritsu knows that.

It hurts to say it but it’s obvious.

_ Mao doesn’t like Ritsu that way _ .

Mika leans on Ritsu who sobs as Arashi holds his hand. Ritsu knows he shouldn’t be crying. His situation isn’t as terrible as Arashi who is getting  _ fucking ignored _ by the guy she likes. He doesn’t have to shake away that awkwardness between him and Mao like Mika has to with Koga. Ritsu’s crush is supposed to be easy. Mao knows Ritsu. Mao is always with Ritsu. Yet, Ritsu is stuck waiting for Mao to realise that Ritsu is in love with him. Ritsu is just  _ so fucking tired _ .

“Just how many times has he told me that he was just too busy?” Ritsu asks Arashi and Ritsu, as if they knew the answer.

Ritsu sniffs as Mika cracks a joke about how maybe Mao is just  _ extremely dense _ . That guy works out a lot, you know? His brain has probably turned completely into muscle. Ritsu tries to laugh through his tears as Arashi nods along. Boys are stupid―Sometimes, you just have to be in their face for them to understand your feelings. It’s annoying because no one actually wants to do that, right? No one wants to be so confrontational about their feelings. That’s crazy.

Mika complains how Mao is probably the type that is  _ super duper dense _ , making confessing the only way to get him to understand Ritsu’s feelings. Ritsu laughs as Arashi exclaim how much she hates dealing with guys like that. They’ll always choke on their own spit when they find out that you like them. They’ll stutter about as if they didn’t realise that they had feelings for you too. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with.

“It makes you think; _ I had a chance from the very beginning?! _ ” Arashi bitterly says as she tries to dry her nails. Really, it’s always the worst when you find out that your feelings are reciprocated―It’s just your crush is too fucking dumb to realise.

Mika nearly spills nail polish on Arashi’s carpet when Ritsu makes a jab at Mao for being way too dense for even a confession. Ritsu personally believes he has messed up his chance thanks to all the times he has casually flirted with him. Ritsu has practically desensitized that redhead from realising that Ritsu is harboring feelings for him. It’s terrible but Ritsu only has himself to blame, honestly.

Maybe if Ritsu was a little bit more honest then things wouldn’t be as difficult as now.

“Then why don’t you ask him out right now?”

“ _ Huh? _ ”

Ritsu wasn’t really getting Mika’s idea. Even after Mika repeats his words, Ritsu still doesn’t understand why Mika wants him to  _ just ask Mao out _ . Did this himbo not listen to Ritsu’s rant at all? Mao has been ignoring and cancelling all of Ritsu’s invites. He’s always telling Ritsu that he’s too busy with work to hang out with Ritsu. Ritsu is just going to get rejected again, if he asks Mao out.

Mika shakes his head―Tell Mao to make up for it.

Tell Mao that Ritsu wants to go out with him. Tell Mao that he  _ has _ to take Ritsu out. Tell Mao that Ritsu feels like he’s being sidelined, even if it’s a childish complaint. Tell Mao all of these frustrations that Ritsu has in him. Tell Mao that Ritsu just wants to see Mao again, even if it’s stupid and embarrassing to even type it out. Just be honest.

After all―even if the whole world were to fall in love with Isara Mao―Sakuma Ritsu is always an exception to him.

Ritsu laughs so much that he nearly messes up his nails. Thank God, Arashi is doing them for him. Maybe Mika is right. Maybe Ritsu should message Mao right now. Even though the digital clock states it’s 2 o’clock in the morning, Ritsu can just hit up Mao. Sure, Mao might not reply but it’s still something worth trying. Even when Ritsu says that, Ritsu can’t really bring himself to do it alone.

“Do it with me, then.” Arashi quirks an eyebrow while Mika explains how he doesn’t like Mao the same way as Ritsu. These two can be the smartest and most caring friends Ritsu has ever had but also be the dumbest friends Ritsu has ever had. It’s amazing that Ritsu loves them so much when they’re like this.

Ritsu shakes his head―If Ritsu has to ask Mao out, Arashi and Mika have to ask their crushes out too. Ritsu shouldn’t be the only one making a bold move on his crush. Not to mention, wasn’t this Mika’s idea? Mika should do it too.

Mika stutters as he flails about how he can’t simply do that. Mika assumed Ritsu would do it alone because Mao isn’t hard to approach. Ritsu states how there’s no harm in trying to ask Koga out too. Ritsu doubts any of those boys would be awake, anyway. If they don’t respond by tomorrow, they can just delete it and forget that it ever happened. If they  _ do _ respond, then that’s already a different story, no? Whether it works out or not, they always have each other to lean on, right? So why worry?

Arashi notes how Ritsu is suddenly pumped up for someone who was sobbing not just minutes ago. Ritsu blames it on Mika’s pep talk. It worked but it is backfiring on Mika instead. Mika complains how he doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with Koga. He is in a comfortable spot albeit it’s frustrating that he can’t get any closer to Koga. He wants to but  _ it’s hard _ .

“Don’t you think I’m sacrificing my relationship with Ma-kun too?” Ritsu tries to remind Mika that he’s also taking a terrible risk too. Ritsu has known Mao for so long and he’s about to risk it all because Ritsu just loves Mao that much. It’d be okay. Surely, Mika and Ritsu will be able to mend their relationships, even if it’ll be a treacherous climb.

Arashi smiles and coos at Ritsu and Mika for panicking so much. Surely, Mao would never want to let go of Ritsu so even if he were to reject Ritsu, he’d still stick with Ritsu. As for Mika, Koga isn’t as awful as Ritsu always puts him as. Mika will be fine. Not to mention, maybe Koga does like Mika back. Koga is a pretty unpredictable person at times.

They’ll be fine, she promises.

Ritsu knows Arashi is just trying to mask her own worry. Arashi will always call her situation with Makoto, a cold case. There’s no point in chasing after Makoto. He’s afraid of Arashi, he doesn’t want to talk to Arashi, he doesn’t want to listen to Arashi―All of those things pile up whenever Arashi stares deeply into her phone. Makoto isn’t as mean as Arashi always puts him too. Maybe if Arashi just asked him nicely, he would happily respond to her.

Arashi rolls her eyes as she asks Ritsu if he’s ever tried asking Makoto out.

Ritsu shrugs― _ Once _ .

“No way!” Arashi didn’t seem convinced at all. 

Ritsu shrugs as he explained how Ritsu only asked Makoto out because he needed to buy a gift for Izumi so he assumed Makoto knew what Izumi wanted but that turned out to be a failure. Makoto wasn’t very helpful because he was nervous and confused a huge chunk of the outing. Ritsu wasn’t annoyed, though. He spent most of his time jokingly flirting with him. It was cute. Makoto is pretty cute. Not really Ritsu’s type but he’s cute.

Mika wondered if Mao ever found, would he be jealous of Ritsu doing that? Ritsu doubts so. Arashi begs to differ, she believes Mao would probably feel more conflicted than jealous. He probably would be jealous of Makoto for going out with Ritsu alone but feel conflicted by the anger he has for never asking Ritsu out himself.

Ritsu scoffs at how unlikely that is. Mao is never jealous of anyone when it comes to Ritsu.

They’re going off topic―They  _ should _ send a message to their crushes and see whether or not it works. If it flunks, that’s okay. They can go out and have ice cream or something. If it works, that’s great. They can set a date and prepare for it together. There are no other options to this situation. It really is a life or death situation.

Scrambling to their phones, they try to send the message. How do you do it? Ritsu doesn’t know, to be honest. Suddenly, Ritsu doesn’t know how to talk to Mao. He stares deeply at Mao’s last message; ‘ _ Sorry cant talk rn _ ’. It bores Ritsu when he’s like this. Ritsu wants his attention. Why won’t Mao give Ritsu some of his attention?

_ Ritsu: i wanna see u tho _

_ Ritsu: ik ure busy  _

_ Ritsu: ma-kun is always busy _

_ Ritsu: is it stupid that im sad htat i cant see u at all?? _

Ritsu sighs as he stares at that ugly stream of messages. Mao will definitely just misinterpret it as something ridiculous and scold Ritsu for not realising that Mao is just busy. He’s not ignoring Ritsu, he’s just busy. Mao will always say that it’s a promise that he’ll go out with Ritsu one day but that day draws further and further as time passes.

Ritsu realises Mika and Arashi have sent their own messages too. It seemed none of them are proud of this but there’s no backing down now. It’s now or never. It’s also almost 3 o’clock in the morning which means they should  _ probably _ head to bed. Mika laughs as Arashi claims how she wants to sleep in tomorrow so she doesn’t have to face that message she sent. Ritsu agrees as Mika exclaims how he hopes Koga doesn’t read it so he can delete it in the morning.

“Will you even wake up in the morning?” Ritsu asks.

“I doubt  _ any of us _ will wake up in the morning,” Arashi ends up answering.

They laugh as they crawl into bed. Sure, Ritsu is taking a huge risk by messaging Mao at such an ungodly time but would he have any other chance to do this kind of thing? Ritsu doubts he will. Ritsu doesn’t know how he’ll feel the next morning if that stream of messages causes damage to his relationship with Mao but if he doesn’t admit those frustrating feelings now, wouldn’t it cause the same amount of damage? Or would it be worse? Ritsu doesn’t really know. Ritsu doesn’t  _ want _ to know.

Ritsu lays in bed, hoping the same as Mika. Ritsu rather Mao would not reply to his message at all.

_ Ma-kun: call me when you wake up _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok clearly there's a continuation but idk how to continue it so im here like HM should i continue it or no  
> I'll figure it out later  
> maybe I will  
> I don't know we'll see  
> anyway, thank you for reading!!!!  
> (if you want, you can follow me on twt [@drunkossan](https://twitter.com/drunkossan)


	2. notification buzzes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ritsu’s phone buzzes endlessly as Ritsu laughs brightly at his friends’ antics. Though he’s smiling, Ritsu gets more and more worried about the stream of messages. It’s hard trying to be happy when such a fate has been laid upon him.
> 
> _His friends are really lucky to have things go their way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo grossnoona here and i am booboo the fool bc i didn't expect this to be longer than two chapters  
> bad idea to write w/o planning  
> so here we go  
> I'm going to try and squish this in at least?? 3 chapters yeha  
> anyway pls enjoy this mess  
> i am enjoying this a whole lot somehow

_ Ma-kun: call me when you wake up _

Ritsu pretends to not see the message when he wakes up. He can’t tell if it’s stress or fear that woke him up early. Mao was awake. He was awake when Ritsu sent that message. Mao is definitely going to misinterpret that mess from last night. Ritsu doesn’t want to call. He seriously doesn’t want to call.

All Ritsu is going to get out of the call is an endless scolding and a heavy heart filled with guilt. Ritsu doesn’t want that. Ritsu doesn’t want to hear Mao scold him for doubting him again. Ritsu doesn’t want to be told that. He’s aware of it already. There’s no need to endlessly scold Ritsu about it, Ritsu wants to bitterly say but does he really have the heart to say that to Mao? Ritsu doesn’t know. Ritsu doesn’t think so.

Ritsu tries to push the depressing thought aside as he hears Mika scream about replying to Koga. At least one of them is making a move with their love life.

Arashi hasn’t said anything about Makoto, Ritsu is going to assume that Makoto  _ seriously _ didn’t respond to her.  _ What an asshole _ . Though that might not be the case either, Arashi could just be doing the same thing as Ritsu. She’s probably ignoring Makoto’s response for the exact reasons Ritsu is ignoring Mao’s response. It’s rude to assume things but he would like some comfort for ignoring Mao.

They peer over Mika’s shoulders as they watch Mika type and delete and retype his message endlessly. Seriously, Ritsu has lost count of the number of times he retypes his message―It’s gone past Ritsu and Arashi’s capabilities of counting. Ritsu is just considering telling Mika to just send it already. Who cares if Mika’s message looks a little weird? Koga is too stupid to realise it anyway.

“ _ I do! I cares! _ ” Mika exclaims before proceeding to scream about how he doesn’t want to mess up his chance at all. He doesn’t want to send an incoherent message! What if Koga thinks Mika is too dumb to even respond to his message and decides he doesn’t want to date Mika?! It would be a total game over for him! No more chances! Dead! Gone!

Arashi and Ritsu stare at Mika’s dramatic reenactment of Koga ultimately rejecting Mika over his confession. Something about how Mika’s  _ one _ stupid response was what killed it all. Seriously, what are they watching? A shitty drama? Mika, that’s just ridiculous. If that were true, Koga would have rejected Mika  _ long ago _ .

“Mikarin, give me your phone.” Ritsu grabs Mika’s phone as Arashi holds him back. He reads their conversation aloud. It’s not that stupid, honestly. All Koga is asking him is when he’s free. All Mika should be responding is  _ just that _ . It’s there typed out but not sent so all he has to do now is send, right? Shouldn’t that be easy? Well, Ritsu understands why Mika is so nervous but shouldn’t he just take the chance already? The fact that Koga is willing to free up time, he shouldn’t be worrying.

Just as Ritsu is deep in thought as he stares at Mika’s phone, Mika manages to break free and try to tackle Ritsu. In a rather comedic fashion, Ritsu accidentally sends the message which  _ obviously isn’t a good thing on his end _ . Well, fuck. Sorry, Mikarin.

Mika screams as Arashi notes how Koga is already typing out his response. Damn, this is going both well and terrible for Mika. The three of them anxiously watch the  _ Oogami-kun is typing... _ notification on Mika’s screen. Though it was minutes, it really felt like hours. They just didn’t know what they should be expecting. Was Koga going to suddenly cancel? Was Koga going to give Mika the green light that he’s going on a date? None of them could figure it out and it was driving them insane.

_ Mika: uh maybe next weekend?? idunno im sowwy  _ _ (; ω ; ) _

_ Oogami-kun: go check w/ that oshisan of yours jfc dw abt me  _

_ Oogami-kun: also what is w/ that fucking face _

Oh.  _ Oh woah. _

Koga is serious about taking Mika out. Arashi barks out an order that Mika finds out his schedule  _ this fucking instant! _ If Mika doesn’t take the chance now, Koga may  _ seriously _ consider rejecting Mika. Mika fumbles with his phone as he mumbles about how he doesn’t know how Shu would feel about Mika going on dates―Ritsu makes a joke about how Mika is making it out to be like Shu is his dad or something. Surely, Mika isn’t missing any important lives or anything so it’s fine.

“Old lady advice but enjoy your youth for once, will you?” Ritsu says as Arashi snorts. That is  _ seriously _ some old lady advice.

Mika laughs at Ritsu who starts acting like an old lady. Though they’re all laughing and enjoying themselves, Ritsu knows that Mika is curious about Arashi and his progress with their own crushes. No use in lying, huh? They did make a promise to help each other if things didn’t go as planned. Not like there was much of a plan, to begin with.

Ritsu sees Arashi take a deep breath before admitting that she hasn’t checked her phone at all. She was pretty serious when she said that she wanted to sleep in so she didn’t have to check her phone when she got up this morning. She really doesn’t know if Makoto has replied or not but she’s hoping he isn’t. She’s hoping that she could just delete the message.

Though she says that, it doesn’t seem to be the case, huh?

Makoto did reply―A rather defensive and confused reply, Ritsu thinks as he reads it aloud for Arashi. He asks why Arashi would want to see him. Nothing more than that. Just a simple  _ Why? _ was all she got. Ritsu isn’t close to Makoto but even he’d feel confused and a little intimidated by that. Ritsu scrolls through their conversations and they are just as short and cold as Arashi has described them to be. Damn. Ritsu didn’t expect that at all.

They huddle together around the dining table as they try to figure out a proper reply. Arashi doesn’t seem to be thinking straight at all―She’s fumbling and mumbling to herself and overthinking non-existent consequences that could happen between her and Makoto. Calm down. Surely, Makoto is just confused because it’s obvious that they don’t seek out each other often.

“Just be honest―You just want to see him, right?” Ritsu says as Arashi hits her head against the table. Ritsu and Mika don’t know how many times they’ve watched her do that but it was definitely enough for both of them to instinctively swoop their hand to where her face would land so she doesn’t smash her face against the cold wooden table again. They’re serious, though. Maybe Arashi should just be honest and admit that Arashi just wants to see him again. Arashi just wants to talk to him again. It’s a really bold answer but it beats trying to make some weird excuse that is obviously untrue.

Arashi gives Ritsu and Mika a dirty look as she raises her head. It’s obvious that she  _ does not _ like that answer. She rather make up a lie than actually tell Makoto why she asked him out. Ritsu calls it bullshit as Mika claims that he’ll steal her phone away and reply in her stead. If she keeps this up, Ritsu might get Mika to type the entire story so Makoto understands what the hell is going on.

“You wouldn’t!” Arashi exclaims as she shoots up from her chair.

Ritsu gives her an unimpressed look.

“ _ Try me. _ ”

Arashi groans as she swipes the phone from Mika’s hands.  _ Fine, I’ll reply _ ―Such a sour phrase is written on Arashi’s frown. It’s kind of funny watching, Ritsu thinks as he watches Arashi mumble how this will scare Makoto even further away. Arashi nags and nags as her hands furiously type. Though Ritsu knows making such a connection would be rude but he can’t help it, Arashi seriously looks like Izumi when her face is scrunched up like that. Her nails make a harsh click for every type she makes as she grumbles about how annoying this is―Ritsu can bet that if anyone else saw this right now, they would think Arashi and Izumi switched bodies.

Arashi sighs as she puts down her phone. She doubts Makoto will answer immediately.

“ _ Now for you― _ ”

Just as Arashi braces to get her revenge on Ritsu, her phone notifies them that Makoto has replied. They look at each other before checking if it was just a false alarm but  _ it wasn’t _ . Makoto replied  _ immediately _ . Was he waiting for Arashi’s response? Ritsu doesn’t really understand Makoto. He’s a pretty hard person to understand so Ritsu can’t say for sure that he was waiting for a response.

Ritsu and Mika press their faces against Arashi’s as they read Makoto’s response.

“ _ Oh lol yeah sure we can meet up _ ―I can’t think of a date and time this instance! Is he crazy?!” Arashi slams her phone down. Ritsu flinches as Mika tries to calm Arashi down. That was unexpected, none of them thought Makoto would go along. They all assumed Makoto would politely let her down. Seriously, what do they do? Ritsu rattles his brain for a solution but he can’t find a solution at all.

Mika suggests Arashi to ask him when he’s free. Ritsu quickly continues by suggesting Arashi to ask him if a cafe date is good. Or maybe an arcade date. That’d be easier, right? Makoto hangs around the arcade all the time. Ritsu can’t think at all. Who knew you could get stressed from  _ someone else’s date?! _ Ritsu realises very quickly that he hates being in this position. He wishes to never be in this position ever again.

Ritsu and Mika spend minutes anxiously watching Arashi converse with Makoto. Will this work? They don’t know, to be honest. They’re just hoping for the best.

Arashi looks at them with a sigh. Is that a good sign? A bad sign? Ritsu can’t tell at all. Mika urges Arashi to tell but Arashi doesn’t give in. She jokingly orders Ritsu to show Mao’s message instead. She claims it’d be a trade for Makoto’s answer since both of them liked boys from the same unit. It was only fair, after all.

Ritsu grits his teeth as he takes his phone out. He hasn’t checked it all morning so he doesn’t know if the messages have accumulated. He hoped it wouldn't. Of course, that’s impossible. Mao continues to message him with empty apologies that don’t shake away the fear he has for their relationship. He begrudgingly shows Arashi and Mika Mao’s response as he glares at them. Happy? Ritsu kind of has the worst response out of everyone. It’s funny, right? Mao is supposed to be the easiest one.

Ritsu expects a laugh out of the two but they don’t. Instead, Arashi nods and admits that Makoto said yes to her date. Ritsu rolls his eyes for making him suffer like that but Mika wonders why Arashi wanted to torture Ritsu like that.

“Yuuki-kun wanted me to ask Ritsu-chan if he even knew Mao-chan had been messaging him all morning―Makoto doesn’t know what happened but he is a little worried.”

Ritsu remains silent as Arashi sighs tiredly. Arashi scolds Ritsu for ignoring Mao even though Ritsu’s situation is way more severe than the other two. Sure, Makoto can be unpredictable with how he treats Arashi and Koga isn’t exactly the most likable person on earth for Mika’s case  _ but _ Mao is different. The more Ritsu ignores Mao, the more it just puts a strain on their relationship. Ritsu should know Mao doesn’t want to hurt Ritsu either.

“I don’t want you to end up like Yuuki-kun and I because I swear,  _ it hurts _ when you find yourself realising that the person you love the most, doesn’t even want to look at you as a friend anymore,” Arashi says as she holds Ritsu’s hand tightly. She knows she shouldn’t be comparing but she seriously doesn’t want Mao and Ritsu to break apart. It’s not easy to mend back a relationship with a heavy history. Ritsu should know that by now.

Mika nods as he tells Ritsu that Mao would surely understand Ritsu’s situation. Maybe Mao might slip up and get confused by the signals Ritsu hurls at him but that’s normal, right? Isara Mao isn’t exactly as perfect as everyone expects him to be. Ritsu knows that, right? Ritsu is always talking about Mao’s foolish mistakes.

It wouldn’t hurt to give him a call and dispel all of his worries. Arashi and Mika mention how Ritsu is the only one who could make such feelings in Mao disappear with a flick of his wrist.

_ That’s just how magical Ritsu is to Mao _ .

Ritsu looks down at his phone before finally agreeing to make the call. He’ll do it but he doesn’t want to do it alone. It’s weird that he doesn’t want to do it alone but he kind of needs the support to properly phrase out his sentences. Usually, he’d want to do these things in private but he can’t think of the right words for Mao. He won’t know what to say and he needs help with that. It’s stupid, right?

Arashi shakes her head as Mika calls it payback for Ritsu’s help from earlier.

Ritsu takes a shaky deep breath as he presses Mao’s number. Ritsu can never really prepare himself for the painful scolding Mao will give him but it’s better than trying to run away, right? Ritsu tries to brace himself as he waits for Mao to pick up. There really is no turning back now. Ritsu just has to accept whatever awful words Mao tries to hurl at Ritsu, right? That's the only way.

“ _ Ma-kun— _ ”

Ritsu hears Mao sigh in relief. He sounds stressed out. Honestly, Ritsu doesn’t blame him. It must be tiring in keeping with Ritsu’s antics, Ritsu bitterly thinks as he hears Mao apologises again. He apologises again and again. Ritsu is a little tired of it, honestly. Though, why is Ritsu tired of hearing it? Ritsu doesn’t know. Maybe Ritsu is tired of waiting. It’s not Mao’s fault, though. Mao can’t control the workload he gets, Ritsu knows that.

_ Then why does Ritsu feel like he’s getting neglected? _

Ritsu didn’t realise he said that worry aloud until he heard Mao’s breath hitches slightly. He mumbles out Ritsu’s name over the line. Ritsu shouldn’t have said that. Ritsu shouldn’t be saying these kinds of things even if those things are actually how Ritsu feels about this entire situation. It’s not right. Ritsu knows what kind of outcomes these thoughts can bring. Ritsu doesn’t want things to turn sour.

Can Ritsu really say that after saying such ugly things? Ritsu doesn’t think so at all. He gives Arashi and Mika a sad look.  _ It really is over, huh? _

“It’s hard to talk about this without actually seeing you―I don’t know when but I’ll try to find a day,” Mao says. Ritsu is a little annoyed that it sounds like Mao is scheduling for a goddamn meeting, not an actual conversation between him and Ritsu. Why is Mao treating this situation like it’s superficial? Ritsu doesn’t understand Mao at all.

Ritsu hums in understanding. He doesn’t want to cry over the phone. Ritsu knows all Mao will do is scold Ritsu for being a spoilt brat about this situation. Ma-kun doesn’t get it. Ma-kun doesn’t understand the pain it is being forced into this position. Ritsu hates it. Ritsu wants Mao to understand but it’s hard. The more he pushes Mao to understand, the more their relationship becomes frail. Ritsu doesn’t want to push it anymore.

This is as comfortable as Ritsu can get without hurting himself and Mao in the process.

Ritsu hangs up the moment Mao says goodbye. Ritsu doesn’t want to hear his voice anymore. Ritsu is tired. Ritsu is  _ so fucking tired _ . Ritsu wants to laugh but all that comes out are sobs about how tired he is. Just how many times has he said that? Ritsu has lost count. Ritsu always wants to be proven wrong but it never works. Ritsu is never proven wrong. What he expects is always what he gets― _ Ma-kun doesn’t care. _

Ritsu rests his head on Arashi’s shoulder as Arashi and Mika wrap their arms around him. Ritsu shouldn’t really be crying again. Ritsu should have expected this. Ritsu shouldn’t be crying over something he knew was going to happen. Ritsu feels like a cry baby for crying over things that were going to happen anyway. He really wanted to believe Arashi and Mika’s words. He really did.

Arashi and Mika spend the rest of the day trying to make Ritsu feel better. Ritsu really didn’t see the point. Those two should be planning for their own dates. Don’t worry about Ritsu―Those two should be trying everything they got for the boy they liked. Ritsu’s mess with Mao is something they shouldn’t be fussing over.

They insist otherwise. Ritsu is dragged through the shopping mall, trying out clothes and trying all sorts of cafes so that Mika and Arashi manage to create the  _ perfect _ date. Though, Ritsu doesn’t really understand why they’re stressing so much about it. Surely, if it goes well, such details wouldn’t matter, right?

“Maybe but that’s more like Mika’s case?” Arashi says as she sips on her cup of tea. Mika hums in agreement. He really can’t compare to the other two. He doesn’t really need to. Everyone has their own troubles, right?

Ritsu laughs as Mika talks about how he wonders if his date will go well. His date is the closest one out of the three of them so he has to quickly prepare for the start of something new! Arashi thinks Mika will just be fine. It’s just a date. Koga won’t eat him alive. Koga isn’t the type, Arashi claims as Ritsu wonders if Arashi means that in a metaphorical sense or in the kinky sense.

“Gross, Ritsu-chan!” Arashi makes a disgusted face as Ritsu laughs in amusement. He’s just joking. He knows Koga won’t do that to Mika. He isn’t that frivolous when it comes to dates. Actually, he takes dates  _ pretty seriously _ . It’s almost hilarious when Ritsu thinks about it because he never knew Koga was the type.

Speaking of being unexpectedly serious, he’s still trying to wrap his head around Makoto’s response to Arashi. It really is a hot-and-cold minefield. Ritsu didn’t expect that at all. Ritsu only knows him as a spineless nerd. He didn’t think Makoto was the type to harshly put a border between him and others. Mika agrees―Mika has never recalled Makoto being that type of person.

Arashi shrugs. There are just some traits about Makoto that don’t really appear unless he’s met with a certain type of situation or a certain person. It feels a little insulting that she’s part of the list of  _ certain circumstances _ when it comes to showing it. Though Arashi is hoping that she can change that, Makoto can forgive people. Arashi isn’t so sure how she’s going to get there but she believes in herself too!

“If it still fails, I’ll die in a ditch!” Arashi claims as Mika and Ritsu try to calm her down about that. That is too harsh of a punishment if she fails. If anything, Arashi should consider trying again?! Ritsu doesn’t know how to confront this situation but honestly, he understands. He understands completely.

If Mao still rejects and decides to cut off their friendship, Ritsu will follow Arashi to die in a ditch too. That’s the only option Ritsu and Arashi have, to be honest.

“Not you too!” Mika screams as Arashi and Ritsu laugh. Mika rambles about how they shouldn’t be giving up now! There’s still a chance that it would work! Give it your all! Claim that boy! Make sure he is yours! More nonsensical motivational speeches Mika gives as Ritsu and Arashi laugh loudly. Really, what would they do without Mika? That guy is weird but in a good way.

Ritsu wished all that laughter wouldn’t disappear as soon as he reached home.

Ritsu didn’t want to go home but he can’t camp out at Arashi’s house until he feels better. He’ll die there. Not to mention, wouldn’t it be sad on Arashi’s end because _she_ has to take care of him in Mao’s stead? Arashi would rather not. Ritsu would laugh at that sort of thing but with the situation at hand, it’s _very_ _hard_ to laugh. It’s stupid but Ritsu is wondering to himself, who exactly is going to look at Ritsu the same way as Mao?

“If I lose Ma-kun, I really don’t have anyone left,” Ritsu says as he flops down on his bed. He wished he wasn’t so reliant on Mao. Well, when he thinks about it, he hasn’t been relying on Mao at all lately. He’s been doing everything by himself because Mao is too caught up with everything else to even think about Ritsu.

Technically, Ritsu can live without Mao but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to live without Mao. The minute Mao decides that he doesn’t want Ritsu in his life anymore, Ritsu fears that everything around him crumbles. Though, that reality seemed to be drawing near. Uncomfortably near.

Ritsu sighs as he closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to think about it anymore. All he wants to think about it is his friends who are happily and nervously preparing for their own dates. All he wants to hear are the stories they’ll tell once those dates successfully end. All he wants is his friends’ to be happy.

Though Ritsu’s heart aches, he can get by with just his friends being happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: ok lets not be so sad  
> my writing: ritsu wants to die bc he thinks he ruined his friendship w mao  
> me: _fuck_  
>  anyway im gon go try and aim for a happy ending (bc i hate sad endings) so uh pls look forward to that!!  
> thank you for reading!!  
> (if you want to shout at me, it's [@drunkossan](https://twitter.com/drunkossan))


	3. real magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ritsu listens to his friends’ talk about their love lives and it’s sweet, really. Ritsu feels warm every time he hears them talk about how much they love their new boyfriends but Ritsu feels a tinge of jealousy each time. He tries his best to talk carefully when replying to them.
> 
> After all, Ritsu is just trying to get used to this fact that there’s going to be an empty spot next to him.
> 
> Ritsu doesn’t like it but he has to get used to it _somehow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DONE IT IS DONE FOLKS  
> I AHVE FINISHED IT AND IM TIRED  
> it is 2am rn and honestly this was fun to write  
> every mood ritsu goes through is my fav mood of ritsu  
> anyway, i hope you have fun!!

Mika calls his date a complete success. He doesn’t try to tell so much in detail because it’s embarrassing but it was magical, according to Mika. He enjoyed every bit of it. Ritsu smiles happily as Mika tries to fumble through his words about how Koga was really different on the date. Mika didn’t think it could go so smoothly.

“I thought maybe I could ask him out again next time!” Mika suggests over lunch. Ritsu and Arashi are all for it. They’re glad to hear Mika’s excitement. It was honestly relieving to hear that everything went well.

Ritsu and Arashi don’t have to murder Koga at all.

Mika gasps as he tries to remind them that murder and death is not an option in these kinds of things! Please utilise those skills for appropriate things! Though, Mika can’t think of a time where it would be appropriate to murder. There probably isn’t one. Mika hopes there isn’t an appropriate situation for one.

Besides that, shouldn’t Arashi be getting excited for hers? Mika noticed Arashi talk to Makoto earlier. Ah, Ritsu saw that too. Ritsu was looking for Arashi but immediately backpedaled when he saw her talking to Makoto. It was pretty bizarre to watch, honestly. Mika nods along―It’s funny because you wouldn’t think Makoto and Arashi are that awkward until you see them initiate a conversation with each other.

Arashi scolds them―What is that supposed to mean?

Ritsu shrugs as he explains how it was the first time he’s seen their conversation go beyond 3 lines. Mika even notes how neither of them looked so tensed up. It was a good sign, obviously but it was pretty obvious that they were awkward in front of each other. Mika found it cute while Ritsu found it such a rare occurrence. Narukami Arashi never gets awkward  _ until _ she’s in front of Yuuki Makoto which is hilarious.

“Hey! I’m not the only one who has been looking awkward, okay?” Arashi points a finger at Ritsu who quirks an eyebrow. Just what dirt does Arashi have on Ritsu  _ this time? _ Ritsu doesn’t recall doing anything weird today. Maybe he has but couldn’t care less about it.

Mika wonders if it was about the obvious air of avoidance Mao and Ritsu have been having. Ritsu chokes on his drink as Arashi notes about it as well. Every time Ritsu’s voice is heard from one end of the hall, Mao does a sharp reverse as if he doesn’t want to see Ritsu at all. It’s not only Mao who does it, Ritsu does the same. They’re clearly avoiding each other.

Ritsu glares at Arashi for using his messy situation with Mao as a way to avoid teasing. What a sneaky brat, Ritsu bitterly thought as Arashi giggled. Geez, he can’t beat this girl at all. He has to learn to give in to her teasing. Though he says that, he never really plans to do such things at all, right? Ritsu is stubborn as always, Arashi would say as she pouts cutely.

Mika mentions how it seems like Mao is  _ actively _ trying to avoid Ritsu, though. Even the slightest mention of Ritsu, Mao is off or suddenly uninterested. Ritsu laughs but he understands Mika’s worry in such a turn of events. Instead of trying to seek Ritsu, Mao is avoiding Ritsu like he’s the plague. Ritsu is honestly annoyed by it.

Ritsu finds himself keeping an ear open, hoping that he’d be able to hear and catch Mao at any given moment but it never works out. What’s worse is that Ritsu feels like he’s being looked at weirdly by Mao’s friends―Why is Ritsu being painted as the bad one now? Is it because Mao doesn’t look the part of someone who could cause damage? Since Ritsu looks like a terrible person, might as well point the blame at him, right? Don’t make Ritsu laugh.

Ritsu doesn’t want to assume Mao would stoop that low but can he say that like he knows Mao? Ritsu might admit that he doesn’t know a single thing about Mao now.

“I feel like the entirety of the student council and Trickstar are treating me like I’m a threat,” Ritsu jokes as Mika frowns in confusion. Ritsu sighs―Seriously, what about him is even a threat? Sure, Ritsu can probably hurt a couple of people but that’s on a  _ good day _ or if the wrong person decided to wake him up. Otherwise, he can barely lift a finger. In fact, Ritsu is so terribly weak, he gets Arashi to open bottles for him. What exactly are they afraid of Ritsu doing? It’s not like Ritsu will want to physically hurt Mao either.

Ritsu isn’t the type. Don’t look down on Ritsu like that, Ma-kun.

Arashi wonders if it really is Mao’s doing in making Ritsu look like the villain. Surely, everyone is misinterpreting Ritsu and Mao’s situation. Though, she can’t be so sure either. It seemed Makoto was trying to figure the situation out himself. Mao hasn’t said much, according to Makoto but it’s obvious that Mao doesn’t seem to be interested in reconciling with Ritsu. At least, publically.

Ritsu boos as Mika scolds Ritsu for reacting like that towards the situation. The more he reacts childishly and angrily, the easier it becomes for everyone to pin the blame on Ritsu. Surely, Ritsu doesn’t want that. Mika understands that it’s frustrating but maybe they should really let Mao take his time on this. It’s frustrating but that’s all they could do, right?

Plus, they have other things to look forward to―Arashi has a date coming up and Ritsu is definitely needed.

_ Oh yeah, Ritsu was completely expecting this. _

Spying on Arashi when she goes on her date with Makoto? This was obvious from the very moment Arashi got excited about her date. Look, they know Arashi can protect herself but they’re just trying to make sure she’s happy with her date. Neither of them knows Makoto enough to fully say everything would be okay. In fact, Makoto’s response to Mika and Ritsu is the complete opposite as his responses to Arashi. It’s only fair that they get worried for her.

Ritsu doesn’t really understand the getup but Mika said they’re going to be a couple. Ritsu didn’t really care about their theme but Mika already did. He was complaining how he was afraid that this could definitely be misinterpreted if Koga saw this. Ritsu somehow doubts that. If anything, Koga might come up to them and ask what the hell are they doing? To answer that, Ritsu doesn’t really know, to be honest.

They’re trying their best. That’s what they’re doing.

They try their best to keep a safe distance from Arashi and Makoto as they walk around the shopping district, Ritsu loses count of the number of times Arashi turns to look for them. Oh, she  _ definitely _ knows that Mika and Ritsu are spying on them. Give us some slack, Nacchan. Mika and Ritsu are just worried over Makoto being mean to her.

As the date progresses, Ritsu realises that the spying is a little unnecessary as Makoto seemed to be fully content with Arashi next to him. The way Makoto smiles warmly as he listens to Arashi ramble his ear off, Ritsu realised that it kind of felt weird to spy on them. There’s something off-putting when Ritsu and Mika try to spy on them. Ritsu couldn’t really pin it down but it felt strange, just looking at them.

“Does it remind you of you and Mao-kun?” Mika asks as he hands Ritsu the sandwich he had ordered. They had long stopped spying on Arashi and Makoto. They decided that a little lunch break before going home seemed like a good idea. Of course, Ritsu knew that would lead him to this conversation with Mika.

Ritsu shrugs as he munches on his sandwich. Maybe. Maybe he does feel weirded out because Mao and him used to be like that. Before, you know, this mess started. Back in their second year, they used to be inseparable but now, Ritsu finds himself dramatically recalling what it was like to even have Mao next to him for more than a second. Not like it matters now.

“I kind of get it―Ma-kun isn’t interested in having me around anymore.” Ritsu slumps in his chair. It’s a little annoying but Ritsu will get used to it. Ritsu has gotten used to a lot of things before. Making new friends, restraining Leo from committing public indecency, talking for himself and so many other things that Ritsu will admit that he’s rather proud of. It’ll just be hard, trying to get used to the lack of someone next to him when he sleeps tonight. Though, let’s be real, when was the last time they slept in the same bed? It seemed like a long time ago since Ritsu and Mao had ever done such a thing.

Mika laughs as Ritsu talks about how there are benefits to sleeping alone. No more having to struggle to escape a walking heater. There is more space to roll around so Ritsu isn’t going to fall off the bed. Ritsu can wrap himself in as many pillows as he wants, no one is going to scold him about it. Ritsu can stay up as late as he wants.. There are  _ a lot  _ of benefits. He can keep listing them but the further the list goes, Ritsu knows they aren’t as great as he makes them out to be.

“It doesn’t beat having someone to sleep next to, right?” Mika voices out such a flaw. Ritsu smiles wryly. Yea, it doesn’t. It doesn’t at all.

Ritsu crawls into his bed when he gets home. As soon as he does that, Arashi nags them for trying to follow her on her date. Ritsu laughs as Mika sends crying stickers, pleading for forgiveness. Ritsu admits his worries as he explains that they left halfway because they got hungry and tired. Can’t ask the two people who might as well be walking corpses to spy on two athletes. He smiles at Arashi who jokes how she’ll tell Makoto that Ritsu called him an athlete.

Ritsu is glad, though. Seeing Arashi looking so happy in front of someone she likes, it made his heart flutter. Ritsu couldn’t help but feel happy as well. Mika agrees―Happy Arashi is the best type of Arashi. He hopes that Makoto manages to make Arashi as happy as today from now onwards. Ritsu hopes so too.

Ritsu stares at the chat as they drift off to the details of Arashi’s date. Ritsu reads but never really responds. Maybe he just doesn’t feel like talking anymore. Is it because of Ritsu’s neighbour? Ritsu wonders.  _ It probably is because of him _ .

Ritsu laughs bitterly. He really is going to have to start referring to Mao as  _ that _ , huh? Mao isn’t Ritsu’s best friend. Mao isn’t part of Ritsu’s life anymore. Mao is just a neighbor. He’s just someone Ritsu knows. Nothing more than that. Ritsu has to get used to this kind of thing. Ritsu doesn’t like it but he has to get used to it.

Don’t be a brat now, Ritsu scolds himself as he wipes his tears. What’s so great about Mao anyway? All he does is nag Ritsu about being too reliant. You need to do things yourself, Ritsu. You’re not a child anymore, Ritsu. I can’t keep doing these things for you, you know? All those kinds of things were common to hear from Mao’s mouth. Ritsu hated it whenever Mao would act that way. Shouldn’t it be great that Ritsu doesn’t have to listen to any of that anymore? Ritsu doesn’t know, really.

Mao rarely meant those things. Though he complains that he hates it when he has to take care of Ritsu, he still does it anyway. He always calls it tiring but insists to take care of Ritsu even though he doesn’t have to. Even when Mao sounds angry about it, he is first to apologise because he knows. He knows Ritsu is trying. He knows Ritsu feels bad for being a burden. Mao always says that― _ You’re not a burden _ .

“But people have limits and that includes Ma-kun too,” Ritsu says aloud.

Mao isn’t some sort of magical and kind person as his friends insist him to be. Mao has his own limits too. Mao can be angry too. Mao can be mean too. Mao can be every ugly thing Ritsu is afraid of. Ritsu shouldn’t be surprised that such a day would come. Ritsu shouldn’t be surprised at all. Yet, Ritsu wished it wasn’t that way. He wished he didn’t send that text. He wished he didn’t call. He wished things didn’t fold out this way.

_ None of this would have happened if Ritsu wasn’t in love with Mao in the first place _ .

Ritsu spends the next day doing nothing. He doesn’t feel like going out. He doesn’t feel like reading. He doesn’t feel like scrolling through his phone. Nothing. He doesn’t want to do anything. He wants to rot in his room and maybe die. Arashi and Mika insist they take him out but it fails tremendously. First, Arashi had plans to see Ritsu after work during lunch but Makoto appeared unannounced so that didn’t work. Then, Mika tried to visit Ritsu but realised he was dragging Koga with him which Ritsu vehemently denied entrance to. Mika is fine but Koga? Ritsu would rather die than be pitied by that guy.

Ritsu waved off their concerns by stating that he’ll be fine. He promises to see them at school the next day, they both should go out and hang with their boyfriends. Live your life. Stop worrying about Ritsu.

Though Ritsu says that, he’s pretty jealous. Why can’t things work out as easily as their love lives? Ritsu doesn’t know.

Ritsu rolls out of bed. To be honest, Ritsu didn’t see why he had to take a bath even though he was going to just crawl back into bed. Maybe he  _ genuinely _ thought Arashi was going to come over. Maybe he  _ genuinely _ thought Mika was going to spend his Sunday with Ritsu. Ritsu doesn’t know, actually. Either way, he can’t just stay in bed. He has to eat something. He has to do something. Just anything.  _ Do something _ .

The quicker Ritsu finds something to do, the less likely Ritsu will think about Mao. That’s the goal today. That’s all Ritsu has to do today. Just find anything so he isn’t thinking about Isara Mao. Ritsu isn’t aiming to get rid of his feelings for Mao but that would be good if he could. Though, such a thing happening? It seemed unlikely.

As Ritsu eats his meal, Ritsu hears the doorbell ring. Packages don’t arrive on a weekend, right? Ritsu goes to open the gate and check who decided to come over. Maybe his mom forgot the keys or maybe his brother is visiting. Ritsu doesn’t really know. Ritsu doesn’t really expect anyone to come over on this sunny Sunday.

“ _ Wait, wait―Don’t slam the door! _ ”

Mao manages to run quickly enough, in time to jam his foot in the door. Ritsu tries to kick Mao’s foot out so Ritsu can just slam the door on him but it seemed God is on Mao’s side. Not like Ritsu had any belief that God was ever on his side, to begin with. Still, Ritsu tries to push Mao out. Get out.  _ Get out. _ Can’t Mao see that Ritsu is  _ trying _ to get rid of him?!

Alas, Mao manages to get into the house. The two of them try to recollect their breath from earlier. Mao scolds Ritsu for trying so hard in slamming the door on him. Ritsu clicks his tongue at Mao for saying that.

“Are you kidding me? You think I wouldn’t after ignoring me and getting people to treat me like I’m some kind of a threat?” Ritsu wants to laugh. Don’t act like there’s nothing in between them at all, Ma-kun. Ritsu isn’t going to put aside this mess until he gets an explanation out of Mao’s mouth.

Instead of remorse, Mao looks appalled. Almost as if he didn’t believe that Ritsu was getting ostracized by Mao’s own friends. Really? How dumb are you planning to play? It isn’t cute when Mao acts like this.

“A threat? Ignoring is one thing that I’ll admit doing but I didn’t tell anyone to treat you like that!” Mao shouts as Ritsu rolls his eyes. Are you serious? Then why was everyone looking at Ritsu every time he passes by. There was obviously something Mao told them that made Ritsu look like the bad guy. Ritsu has to admit, Ritsu wouldn’t usually take Mao as the type to be so awful but clearly, he’s being proven wrong.

Mao glares at Ritsu―Why are you acting like you’re the one who got hurt? Shouldn’t it be Ritsu? After all, it was Mao who decided to not talk to Ritsu after that phone call. It was Mao who decided he didn’t feel like reconciling with Ritsu. It was all Mao who decided that treated this entire thing so goddamn superficially. It was Mao who decided to treat Ritsu like who could be easily replaced. Don’t act so fucking innocent, Ma-kun.

Ritsu tries his best to glare back but it’s hard to do that when he knows he’s going to cry again. Ritsu doesn’t want to cry in front of Mao. Ritsu doesn’t want to look weak in front of Mao. Ritsu doesn’t want Mao to see how messy and broken he feels after all that Mao has done to him. Ritsu wants Mao to go away instead. He wants Mao to leave so Ritsu can cry in peace. Ritsu tries to voice another angry thought but it comes out broken and cracked.

It’s unfair that Ritsu can’t get mad at Mao. It’s unfair that the thought of hurting Mao could actually make him cry. Why is it that Mao can relentlessly scold Ritsu but when Ritsu tries to do it, Ritsu can’t even voice it out without crying? This is unfair. Ritsu hates this.

Ritsu cries as Mao hugs him tightly. Ritsu doesn’t want Mao to go. Please don’t leave. Ritsu makes flimsy and foolish promises as Mao wipes his tears. Ritsu takes deep breaths as Mao whispers apologies in his ear. Mao laughs when Ritsu tightens his grip around Mao’s shoulders as soon as he feels Mao lift him up.

The feeling of being held and all those sweet warm whispers―Ritsu missed it so much.

Mao rests his head on Ritsu’s shoulder as he wraps his arms tightly around Ritsu’s waist. He whispers  _ I miss yous _ into Ritsu’s shoulder as Ritsu giggles softly. Though they’re comfortable with each other, it doesn’t change the fact that Ritsu doesn’t understand why Mao ignored Ritsu. It didn’t feel like something Mao would do at all.

Ritsu doesn’t know if he could admit such a worry. He doesn’t want to hurt this comfortable position they’re in.

“I didn’t want to ignore you at first,” Mao suddenly admits as if he could read Ritsu’s thoughts. At first, he was just trying to rearrange his thoughts about how Ritsu felt. He felt bad for ignoring Ritsu for so long. He shouldn’t have done that. He should have at least  _ tried _ to squeeze some time for Ritsu. Even if it wasn’t long, Ritsu still deserved to be looked at too. Mao didn’t realise how little he actually cared about Ritsu until Ritsu said it himself.

Mao gets why Ritsu didn’t push any further during the call. Ritsu didn’t want to hurt Mao’s feelings anymore.

Ritsu could have shouted and thrown a big tantrum about how little Mao cares for Ritsu now. Ritsu could have pushed Mao away right there and then because Mao clearly sounded like he couldn’t care less. Ritsu could have told Mao that he sounded like Mao was perfectly okay with throwing away years worth of friendship. Ritsu could have told Mao so many things that made perfect sense when Mao thought how Ritsu felt at that very moment. The only reason why Ritsu didn’t want to was that Ritsu didn’t want to hurt Mao.

Mao honestly felt like an asshole when he realised how much shit he was dragging Ritsu through. It’s honestly ridiculous that Ritsu was the one that was getting the blame instead of Mao. Maybe his friends were thinking that Mao could never hurt Ritsu. It was very much the opposite, Mao will admit that honestly.

Mao kisses Ritsu’s neck as he mumbles how being away from Ritsu made him realise that he’s a lot more awful than he thinks. He shouldn’t have done that. He’s seriously sorry about it. He doesn’t want to hurt Ritsu anymore. He says that with his heart filled with honesty but Ritsu wonders if that was possible. These gestures that he does to Ritsu, does Mao do this only as a close friend?

Mao tilts his head in confusion. What does Ritsu mean by that?

“Does Ma-kun only do this because I like being affectionate or does Ma-kun―” Ritsu turns to give Mao a nervous look. Can he really say this? Will Mao feel weirded out? Ritsu doesn’t know, to be honest. Small encouraging voices resembling Arashi and Mika shout at him to keep going. Mao will understand. Mao will understand. Mao will  _ most definitely _ understand.

Before Ritsu can even push those words out, Mao kisses Ritsu.

Ritsu makes a small noise when he feels Mao kiss him harder. Ritsu doesn’t know what to do―He finds himself letting Mao do whatever he wants to Ritsu’s mouth. It’s a strange experience but somehow Ritsu likes it when Mao kisses Ritsu deeply. Once Mao breaks the kiss, Ritsu feels a little dazed. He didn’t think Mao was the type to be so rough. It’s not like Ritsu is displeased but he is  _ surprised _ .

Mao laughs as Ritsu wipes his drool. Mao kisses Ritsu’s forehead as he tells Ritsu that it’s funny how Ritsu thinks Mao wouldn’t like Ritsu the same way as Ritsu does. Had Mao just liked Ritsu like a friend, he wouldn’t be this physically affectionate with Ritsu.

“I’m not as dense as you think, Ritchan.” Mao kisses Ritsu once more before Ritsu can even protest. Ritsu smiles warmly when Mao apologises for not telling Ritsu his feelings any earlier. He really owes Ritsu a proper apology. No more stupid empty spoken apologies. He really should prove to Ritsu how sincere he is about it.

“ _ Go out with me and I’ll prove to you that you shouldn’t be looking at anyone else but me, _ ” Mao whispers in Ritsu’s ear. It sends a shiver down Ritsu’s spine. Ritsu didn’t think Mao could do so many things to Ritsu without even trying. Seriously, when did Mao turn out like this? Here, Ritsu thought Ritsu was the only one who was provocative.

Ritsu trips over himself as he goes on a date with Mao. Suddenly, everything becomes overwhelming. Ritsu doesn’t know how to act around Mao at all. Mao laughs as Ritsu tries to keep up with him. The way Mao tightens the grip around Ritsu’s hands as he talks about this new restaurant that Ritsu would like, Ritsu feels like this entire thing is a dream. There’s just no way this is real.

From the way Mao stares at Ritsu, he can’t tell if it’s just been  _ that _ long since they last met so Ritsu isn’t used to being looked at by Mao anymore  _ or _ Mao is  _ seriously in love _ with Ritsu. Ritsu doesn’t know which answer is better, honestly. Every time he makes eye contact with Mao who looks at him with such warm eyes, Ritsu breaks away immediately. It’s hard to look back. Ritsu finds himself feeling self-conscious about it.

It’s strange. It’s weird. It’s leaving Ritsu feeling all sorts of things.

Every touch and look Mao gives Ritsu, it feels electrifying. Ritsu doesn’t know what to do at all. It’s almost as if Ritsu has never been out with Mao. It’s almost as if Ritsu doesn’t know a single thing about Mao. It’s almost as if they’ve never spent a single minute together outside of school. It’s so strange. Has it really been  _ that _ long since they’ve done anything together?

Ritsu’s heart flutters every time Mao kisses him. The minute their lips break away from each other, Ritsu tries not to ask for another kiss. It’s honestly stupid―Had this situation happened last year, Ritsu would have stubbornly ask Mao not to leave him but now Ritsu feels like there’s a boundary to how much anything can happen. Why is that? Why isn’t Ritsu selfishly asking Mao to do anything  _ only _ for him? Ritsu frowns.

_ Wouldn’t it be better if Ritsu was a little bit more selfish? _

“Ma-kun!” Ritsu calls out to Mao who was  _ literally _ five steps away from home. Despite that funny fact, Mao still jogs back to Ritsu even though they were already in close proximity. Judging by Mao’s quick response to return to Ritsu, it wouldn’t hurt to be selfish.

Ritsu asks if they could  _ try _ to go to school together again. It doesn’t have to be  _ every day _ , Ritsu rambles a little. Ritsu gets it if Mao doesn’t want to―Ritsu is a little slow in getting ready and Mao needs to get to the school early so it’s obvious that it can’t be  _ all the time _ . It’s just Ritsu thought it would be nice, you know? Ritsu laughs sheepishly as Mao stares at Ritsu.

Mao laughs at Ritsu who flounders in front of him. Mao mentions how Ritsu makes walking to and from school a thing they’ve never done before. Mao kisses Ritsu sweetly and whispers how Mao will kill Ritsu if he doesn’t wake up early. Ritsu giggles as Mao kisses Ritsu goodnight.

“ _ Spill the details, Sakuma Ritsu! _ ” 

Arashi screams as Ritsu laughs over lunch. Mika shakes Ritsu aggressively as Arashi screams how she can’t believe that Ritsu got to go on a date with Mao yesterday! Despite all that screaming they make over Ritsu’s surprise, they’re happy. They really are. Arashi mentions how Ritsu looks best when he’s laughing as he tells funny details about the date. Mika claims that Ritsu’s eyes don’t look that sad anymore.

Ritsu watches Arashi running off to Makoto because she  _ finally _ got Makoto to do a photoshoot with her while Mika shouts goodbye with Koga. God knows where they’re going. Probably off to go thrift-shopping or something. Ritsu isn’t so sure, honestly. It’s sweet, though. Ritsu is happy with how both of his friends have sweet boyfriends. Makoto would agree to do all sorts of extreme things that Arashi likes even though he doesn’t have to. Koga keeps finding places to buy broken toys for Mika to mend. Ritsu is glad that they’re trying to make his friends happy.

“ _ Ritchan! _ ”

Ritsu turns to see Mao smiling warmly at him, his hands shoved roughly into his pockets and his hair messily done. Ritsu wonders who is the messy looking one now? Ritsu kisses Mao as he unclips Mao’s fringe. Ritsu likes it when Mao looks like this. Though, hasn’t his hair gotten longer? Ritsu feels like he could tie his fringe too now.

Ritsu clips the clip to the side of his hair as Mao kisses Ritsu once more. Though Ritsu said that they didn’t have to do this all the time, Ritsu is glad that Mao wants to  _ try _ to do every day like how they used to do it. Mao wants to see Ritsu at least  _ twice _ a day. Mao wants to work a schedule where he can spend some time with Ritsu. He doesn’t want the day to end without Mao seeing Ritsu. Mao swears that.

Ritsu leans on Mao’s shoulder as they walk home. It’s a pretty uncomfortable way of walking since it hurts his neck but he can get used to it.

“ _ I love you. _ ”

Mao laughs as he kisses Ritsu’s forehead.

  
“ _ I love you too. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maoritsu good kids i hope you love maoritsu as much as i do bc i like it a whole lot  
> anyway, ma-kun was an asshole throughout this fic and i apologise for that bc he probably isnt this mean in canon but _yeha_  
>  as always, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed this entire fic!  
> (if you want, you can definitely shout at me on twt [@drunkossan](https://twitter.com/drunkossan))


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